My Problem With Zombies

L .Vera


Zombies. They’re everywhere. I’ve written perhaps . . . two stories about zombies. I thought that number would be higher, but compared to vampires, werewolves and any other creatures of horror, zombies usual involve character interactions. Zombies are rarely the main character and so you can easily paint circumstances and include other elements. There’s no real formula besides someone gets infected and others have to deal with it. But that’s not my problem.

The problems are with zombies themselves. I think they are a very flawed creature. Okay, vampires and others have flaws too but they all have strict formulas. Here are the basic formulas which can be tweaked or changed:

Vampires: Weakness to sunlight, silver, holy artifacts, garlic and/or virgins. They have super strength, super intelligence and can fly. Many can change forms from animals to a simple mist of air. They are sexy and can mesmerize a person with a stare or with some strange rape power, vampires have.

Werewolves: Weaknesses include silver, I think everyone hates silver, and  . . .well that seems to be it. They also tend to rip their clothes off during transformation, usually during a full moon. So they usually run around naked killing things. Fun night, I’m sure. They are super strong, super fast and gosh darn it people like them. Lately the also seem to be very buff in human form, and almost hairless.

Zombies: They are sick, infected and eat brains. Wait? Do they? Then they bite people and they in turn also become infected and in days the whole world is infected except like a handfull of people. Really?

Okay, so you see where this is going. First of all brains. Let’s talk about brains. It’s a lie. Zombies just eat anything with meat, always have and always will. I cannot recall a moment in a movie or novel where brains were eaten. I’m sure it has happened; but it’s got to be more of a delicacy. To me it looks like they like flesh and guts over anything else. There’s never a shortage of intestines being eaten in any zombie movie. Mant times the brains are intact, so is the whole head. Matter of fact, most zombies have a whole intact head. Any damage to the brain and they die. So on to my next point.

Zombies are those that only got bitten enough to turn and get the hell away. Otherwise they’d get completely devoured. We aren’t talking about vampires who can bite someone and vanish into the night leaving a warm human to slowly turn into a cold creature of the night. Zombies are hungry, like a mindless pack of wolves. So those that turn into a zombie must have gotten away after their first bite. Then they turn and slowly make their way to the crowd of zombies. Seems a bit unlikely. I think in most cases we’d find them locked in rooms, or held up in a quite place.

Now my biggest gripe. The infection spreads like a rumor of Justin Beiber being a lesbian. Really? Days and only a handful of people live. I personally write all my zombie stories either years in the future after the infection and/or a slow infecting virus. One where people, as a mass, have a chance. It’s not like the have super strength, or super anything really. They’re mindless diseased people. The only thing that gives them an advantage is numbers. It just makes more sense to me, of course I like to be as realistic as possible in any story even if I’m writing something already outrageous, like killer rabbits from outer space or something.

In conclusion, I still prefer a good zombie story over vampires and werewolves.

Trestle Press: The Lawsuit (Now Lawyer Approved)

First off I want everyone to know what this Blog includes before reading further.

  • A quick update of what Trestle Press has done.
  • News of a lawsuit that has been emerging.
  • What you can do to help at no cost to yourself, if you are an ex Trestle Press author.

An Update

Trestle Press, to me, is another word for a shitty publication that provided horrible services for authors. In many cases they were better off doing everything themselves. Now what really blew up in their face was their stolen artwork. I was skeptical from the beginning, especially realizing the horrible editing on the final draft of my book “The Horror Suicide Show“. I originally gave it out for free to my fans and somehow Giovanni got a hold of it and wanted to sell it, market it. I said, “Why not?”, after all I was giving it out for free, so even if Giovanni made me a dollar at the time I would have been happy. (Big mistake, I’ve made way more than that on my own. I just wasn’t confident enough in my work and popularity.) Anyways, shitty editing, shitty book cover, which seemed awfully familier.

You can find lot of my work of deviantArt for free. Many of the stories in “The Horror Suicide Show” appeared there first. Anyways, I like art as well as writing and found the exact image in my favorites folder. It was something I had already liked and used as a background at one time. What a coincidence. So there it was, with an artist’s name attached to it. A quick not to the artist and I found it it was stolen. Then I found out almost every book cover was that Trestle Press made was stolen from a quick google image search.

I somehow amassed an army. Quickly we were contacting artists and authors. It was kinda fun. We also noticed some obvious ones like the use of Ghost Rider and Bill and Ted. If you want even more examples check out my original post earlier this year.

News

I was contacted by an individual who knows about more shady practices behind the man behind Trestle Press. It’s one man, named Giovanni. We also have suspicion to believe that it isn’t his real name, but that’s a whole other deal. Trust me, I’m trying to make this post short and sweet. So here’s a quote from my new friend who’s heading this new lawsuit:

It may take a week before he is actually served but the lawsuit is comprehensive and has multiple allegations, all of which we can support. You might let the others know this tidbit. He wanted $600 from a bookstore in one of the states most credible department stores for books they held. The owner ran for governor and his son is the mayor of our town. Giovanni never sent an invoice to anyone on my book. Even so he demanded money from the bookstore before he would discuss return of my rights. Sound like extortion? Well, the check was sent via snail mail and Giovanni denied receipt and demanded it be sent FED-X so he could track it. Another check was sent Fed-X but he complained that it was made out to Trestle Press and not to him personally and he would have to wait for it to clear. After continued requests, and even after he was paid, Giovanni did not release the rights to my book back to me. That’s when it was decided to proceed with the suit.

So there’s other shady allegation’s that “Giovanni” is involved in. And the lawsuit has already been making progress through my source’s lawyer.

The Source Needs Help

Turns out he needs more people to come forward. His name is Dr. Joe Edward Morris. He has promised me that there will be no cost for anyone who wants to help raise the stink higher. Any ex-Trestle Press author should at least email (jemorris42@comcast.net) him letting him know that you will support him and that you were a survivor. Afterall, we did survive and we are better off. We all even got together and put out a great book for free on smashwords and 99 cents on Amazon (which the money is donated to a charity) called Burning Bridges and it’s a great read. We need to do a second volume perhaps call it “Suing Bridges”.

-L. Vera

Writing With Music: We All Do It


You know that song. That one song that created vivid thoughts and ideas in your head. Did it contribute to a story? It happens all the time, we writers find inspiration everywhere. Some while mediating after Yoga or breaking into their own house after you forgot your keys. “That would make a great story.” Most of the time it’s almost uncontrollable, but if you manipulate your surroundings I believe you can set yourself in the right mind set. It’s like a rockstar listening to music before the go out on stage. That’s what you are a writing rockstar. Besides a little exercise the right music is also essential to clearing the mind and focusing.

What I listen To.

Depending on the genre I find different music useful. For example, a good sci-fi story with the ambiance of some techno perhaps some dubstep really let’s my dive into those scenes, especially those cyber punk clubs with the insane dj’s and rockstars. The UK makes the best dubstep and I’m also a huge Dillion Francis fan.

Now speculative fiction seems easier to write with some poppy punk music for me. Throw me some MXPX, The Offspring or even some Ramones. Why? I have no clue.

Horror, is usually heavy or violent. Combichrist, Three Days Grace or The Misfits.

I started writing noir. Seems like everyone is doing it and everyone keeps sending my pulp fic and noir books to read. So now I’m there, typing about a man who’s a total jerk, but he’s gotta win, well very few people win in my stories. Anyways, Alkaline Trio or Tom Waits.

Why It Helps.

That constant mood, it’s not always there. I’ll write 1/3 of my story in the john and another while I watch television. Days later it’s finished throughout the day, either between waiting for someone or something, eating, or doing who knows what. But every time the mood is different. I always regret not writing in one sitting. It’s not always possible, but if you started an album or genre of music and used it every time you began to write again, it has a better grip on that mood you were in.

Everyone is different, but I think you should try it and let me know. Perhaps give me a tip on writing other genres.

-L. Vera

Buy Flashy Shorts Today

When I hear Flashy Shorts, I picture some bright colored shorts, perhaps something Bart Simpson wears. Nonetheless, here is a flashy set of shorts from Good Guy Publishing, coming out Today, with yours truly gracing the pages. The lineup is actually pretty nice, check it out:

Oatmeal Galaxy by K. M. Indovina
Metro Rider by Mark Gatto
Cup Football by Margaret Nesbitt
Duck-egg Blue by Natalie Glenister
The Secret Witch by Debbie Behan
No Criminal by L. Vera
The Flat by Graham Taylor
The Kansas Kindred Killers by Graham Smith

Amazon U.S.

Amazon U.K.

-L. Vera

Short and Sweet?

I have great respect for authors who write short stories. Compressing so much detail into a quick, compelling story takes true talent.

L. Vera tells this story in a unique way, as personal diary entries, and I really enjoyed it. Well written and easy to follow, it is, literally, the diary of a madman.

The author’s choice of cover art is perfect. After all, it is a diary.

Todd Casil’s life is spiraling out of control. Experiencing episodes of missing time, he begins to question his own sanity when he discovers missing pages in his personal diary and entries he did not make. Who is killing the people around him, and why does he keep seeing green eyes?

Pulled into Todd’s life, I began to dread the conclusion that was racing towards me as I turned each page. You will too.

Also included are two bonus short stories.

I Hate Every Beautiful

This story will make you ask yourself whether you believe in coincidence or fate. The lives of 6 people are about to converge in a min-blowing final scene. The author knows how to wrap up an ending!

Cut

Henry awoke to find himself lying on the floor of his apartment. His attempt at suicide was a failure, just like his life.

An emergency broadcast on the TV warns everyone to stay indoors. Darkness has descended on the planet and there is something in it.

Now Henry must decided if he wants to live or die.

Open this book and prepare yourself for a gut-wrenching, edge of your seat buffet. L. Vera wastes no words, keeping these stories short and sweet. Well, maybe not sweet.

For more about L. Vera and his books:

http://lverawrites.wordpress.com

https://aknifeandaquill.wordpress.com

Other works by L. Vera:

Diary of a Madman FREE!!!!

Shameless plug. Sorry, but it’s not like I’m selling anything to you. Download my first book Diary of a Madman FREE!!!! till Monday.

via Diary of a Madman FREE!!!!.

-L. Vera

Review: The Goon vol. 1: Nothin’ But Misery

L. Vera

Let me introduce you to best comic since . . . well since . . . Johnny The Homicidal Maniac. Eric Powell is a madman working in the zombie resurrecting lands of crazy town and this is his baby. Say, “Hi,” to The Goon. He’s a face bashing, mob enforcer with his trusty friend Franky, who loves to stab people in the eye.

When I talk comics with anyone, I recommend this collection to everyone. It’s a classic Goon Story. Goon chases zombie thugs, beats them to death and Franky stabs someone in the eye. You got talking spiders, monsters, grave diggers, canibal hobos and a whole lot more.

The volume collects the first self-published issues THE GOON, THE GOON COLOR SPECIAL, and THE GOON short story that’s included in DARK HORSE PRESENTS. And it’s a great way to get introduced to a comic series that doesn’t care about selling comics but about delivering the best, craziness in comic book form. These aren’t the first Goon issues. If you want those you need to shell out some big bucks or buy vol. 0.

The story line is summed up in the first comic in the volume. Where a young Goon works for a mob boss/ loan shark named Labrazio and after some terrible events ends up murdering him and finding his little black book of people who owe him money. The Goon assumes the role of his “enforcer”, even though he’s dead, and becomes the feared, hulking bastard of a man in the small zombie infested town collecting money from anyone who borrowed from Labrazio.

We also meet Buzzard, a former sheriff who is now cursed to eating the flesh of the dead. The character’s are full of this obscene mind blast that has you liking if the weirdest of the bunch. I’ve alwasy like the spider in the bowler hat named Spider, who The Goon hates and constantly beats up, and Merle who’s a gun-runner and a werewolf. But overall I like Goon and Franky, the slack-jaw punching duo.

The art is great, the writing is beyond witty. It’s all done by one man, Eric Powell.

You can read the whole first comic here.

Grab it on Amazon

or TFAW (My favorite place to get comics, cheap and fast. Use SHAZAM for fre shipping over $50)