How To Kill Someone The Right Way

A sequel to “How To Kill Someone“. Confidence was the main theme of that last article. You can’t sell a death if you don’t believe it. But what else do you need to write a good scene? Here are some other pointers I picked up that I think are useful.

Gore and Blood: I can look back at everything I have ever written and have not once describe how the person died in every vivid detail. Gore and Blood – to me – are almost like overused adverbs. You don’t need them. A simple “And he died” can make a scene dramatic with only a handful of words. Of course you can’t have two people talking and cut straight into it.

“So Murray, whatcha doing tomorrow?” And he died. 

It’s a worthless and very amateur line.

Try with feelings first.

There was a burst, not like a sound and not like a light but of pain and it tore through his back and left him lifeless on the floor. There on the dirty alley, where children once laughed, Murray died.

A death in two sentences and to me fills the world easily with the right image. No description of guts or organs being destroyed. You don’t really need it. Which leads us to the next important topic . . .

The Lead Up: Plain and simple, it helps if your reader see it coming. People dying out of thin air is just broken writing. A man walking alone, or a man not in the middle of conflict works the best. A lot of times stories have too much stuff going on, with people hunting this guy and that, you lose the power of just slowing things down. So back to Murray . . .

Sun dripped along with the water drops from the brick walls. Each stealing a piece of attention that Murray should have had for his own safety. The walk had already tired him and carrying the two suitcases had already taken a toll on his shoulders, yet he smelled something in the air. I once read that water didn’t have a smell, it was a catalyst for your sense, boosting your sense. So what you  are actually doing is smelling something that’s already there. And there, at the end of the alley was Genova. Standing like a gun fighter waiting for the clock to strike and the smell reminded Murray of his father.

You know why girls like bad guys? It’s because if a nice guy brought them roses they feel just like an other girl that he gave roses to – nothing special. But when a douchebag brings a girl a single rose, he is going up and beyond for her, making her feel like the only person in his life that means anything to him – pure fucking special. (My own sexist theory.) Writing is the same way. You got to take it slow, tease the reader with some slow paces so that when you hit something fast, something climatic it feels like . . . they are getting something special.

Tools of Death: Now this is important. One day I want to write a whole post on guns. For now, I’ll settle with some little tidbits. Just remember that you need to research. Research, research and research. Buy a gun, buy a knife. Hold them in your hand, write how they make you feel. Shoot a gun, smell the air, listen to the sound and watch what it does to a target.

Or read these handy little guides online.

Stupid Gun Mistakes EVERY Writer Makes

So you want to write about guns…

Emotional Paint: Everything we try to convey, we paint. We paint with keystrokes. This article is intended for those who need help doing something they haven’t done or something they can’t figure out of to do – paint death. I like to paint with real emotion. I always find it easier to write about feelings when I recently have used them. So I want to tell you a personal story. I have to warn you, animals were killed in it and you may not agree with what I did. So here it goes:

There was a neighbor, there’s always one like this, who had two large boxers that turned into eight over months. They were big, strong and dug holes like trenchers. In a matter of months they had killed two of my neighbor’s dog, my wife’s seven year old lab and three cats of ours. Now, we live outside city limits, so there really is no one to help us with our troubles. We, my wife and I, love animals. We had 9 cats living outside at one time living in that yard, which sits in front of our new property. We used to live there but bought the property across the street and the cats refuse to move. What can I say, it’s their property too.

So one of the cats had kittens, she was the only one that wasn’t fix and since we had lost other cats we thought it would add some sunshine to our yard, after all kittens are incredibly adorable. And they were. I fell in love immediately, and I don’t like cats. I’m a dog guy, but these little furry balls of joy liked me, and would climb on me as I feed the other animals. How could I not love them.  At this point, the boxers numbers had thinned. There were now two killers. 

Somehow, perhaps determination of these crazed animals, they got in my yard. Littered throughout the yard were many dead kittens and my wife’s oldest cat. Now I don’t condone killing anything, I never in my life even wanted to go hunting with my father and brother. It’s not for me and I’ve always made it clear, yet there I was standing with a flashlight in one hand and trying to balance a rifle in the other, aiming at the two dogs that won’t leave my yard and had just left little shadows of life in my yard; the cat’s yard – our yard.

I killed one. The other wouldn’t leave, just sat close to the dead body perhaps hoping he’d come back to life. I fired, maybe I missed because I saw the look on his face. Or maybe I just didn’t see the point in killing both dogs. I didn’t miss completely, he now walks around with a limp, but I look back at the day and I don’t regret anything. Wait, I do regret something. I regret not killing that other dog.

This one event inspired many of my newest stories. I really think the best way to paint is when you are emotional. Try writing when you’re angry, when you’re sad or, my favorite, when you’re in love.

-L. Vera

Advertisements

How I Got 10,000 Followers on Twitter or How To Use Tweepi

-by L. Vera

One word can pretty much sum it up Tweepi.

Here’s my twitter history. I started “tweeting” in Feb. It wasn’t my first time on twitter, before I had a character from my book, Diary of a Madman (which will be free this weekend), tweet his kills. That small experiment was fun, but I still didn’t have my own personal account. Once I decided that I wanted to release Diary of a Madman as a book, I thought that I needed somehow to help get the word out. I amassed about 100 followers shortly, mostly dedicated readers and a couple of random people. Six months later I manage 10,000 followers.

I can’t remember how I stumbled on Tweetpi, but when I did I didn’t really understand what I stumbled upon. 

I stumbled on the holy grail of twitter websites. Now, many people don’t like this method. They want “quality followers”. Well, who’s to say who isn’t a quality follower. Out of the 300 people I follow a day using this program, I find many quailty followers, way beyond just sitting down and expecting them to find me. And to tell you the truth, the ones that friend me without me following them, tend to be useless. They don’t mention me, they don’t retweet me, they don’t really talk to me. They feel more like virtual stalkers then quality followers. Now, the ones I’ve interacted with, some just saying “Thanks for the follow” I’ve built relationships from a simple “No prob.”

I have 10,000 followers. When I post a tweet, I get at least 20 clicks. I’ve tested it using affiliate tracking links and simple visit counters. Do you get that many? I ran those test back when I had 6,000 followers, who knows how well those links do now.

Tweepi is easy to use. I suggest signing on and quickly start by using the Follow Tweeps pull down and clicking on @user’s followers. This will bring you to the page where you can fill in a person’s twitter handle and get a chance to follow their followers. I suggest using, @inkmuse or @randomhouse for bloggers. Basically choose a popular twitter account that has the followers that would follow you, someone similar to what you tweet/ post about.

Then list them by last tweet, I fell like this short’s out the quiet/stalker tweeps. Then click the top, most active tweep and then go down to about maybe a couple of days. I like 10 days, but originally choose smaller amount like 2-3 days. Hold shift and click the last one, it will highlight everyone in-between.

Then click Follow. They get queued and after you go to the next page or just wait a bit, they all get followed. Normally you can only see 20 at a time unless you tweet a little link to tweepi and they give you 20 more a page. You can also purchase a version that sorts them a whole lot better, but I find the free version adequate.

That’s it. At first you should keep your following to between 100-200, until you hit around 2000. Then you need to use the flush the unfollowers section, to get rid of those that don’t follow you. I do this at least once a week. Then start over. I wasn’t to crazy about doing this everyday, but maybe dedicating every other week to reaching a new number would help. As your followers grow, it seems that people start to find me on their own now. It could be because of my short stories on the web, or because how popular AKAQ has gotten, but I find I need to use tweepi less and less.

@LVeraWrites

Things Writers Shouldn’t Google

by L. Vera

We get a lot of readers here at AKAQ that google weird and crazy things, like “How To Kill Some One With A Knife” or “How To Kill Someone Quickly”. I wrote one article called “How To Kill Someone”, which was about writing, and now we get all kinds of crazies visiting the blog. (Which is kinda cool.) So when you finally find that website that helped you kill someone and the police look at your computer and see your history, don’t look at me. I warned you.

1) Arsenic: Really any type of posion should be off limits. Even weird plants. I think I once searched for bull nettle after scraping against the plant and found all types of crazy things, I hope that wont bite me in the ass. I guess if someone dies mysteriously from poisoning and you don’t see post here anymore, I might be in lockup.

2) How To Kill: How To Kill anything, anybody in any fashion should not be food in the google machine. Maybe add the word “Write” to help find the articles that could help a writer. Even though I’ve never seen a google search that brought someone here. : (

3) How To Make a Bomb: And any other terrrorist type thing you think of especially the Anarchist cookbook. Even though seeing fertilizer bombs going off on youtube lseems cool it’s actually . . . Okay, it is pretty cool, but be smart and search instead for “how to fertilize lawn with bug bombs” or something sneaky like that.

4) Anything over the top sexual: I don’t need to elaborate. But try explain to your parents when the police find those – insert crazy fetish – pictures after your friend did something crazy illegal and the police confiscated your CPU. Not worth it buddy.

Look, many cookies and certificates can be found on your computer that can help convict you of all types of things. So make sure you use Google Chrome and turn on Incognito browsing. Come on. Just read this if you need more reasons, even though he was crazy and it’s actually good for us he did google those things.

How To Use Twitter, The Right Way

Writers! Bloggers! Are you using Twitter? If you are, answer these two questions:

1) Are you using it to publisize your work, or want to?

2) Do you have fingers?

If you answered yes to both these questions, then this post is essential for you.

Twitter the ultimate advertising tool.

First of all, twitter should not be your main source of advertisement. I just want to make that clear, that there better and more effective ways to advertise than twitter, but they all cost money. Twitter is free. Free. It’s one of my favorite words. Free. And I’ll say it a lot, don’t even try to stop me.

Now let’s cover why.

One tweet, can easily be seen by a number of people. Now hundreds of tweets would be seen by at least hundreds of people. Usually one tweet for my blog will bring in 2-10 people. With Triberr, I can easily multiply the amount of views. Here at AKAQ (A Knife And A Quill) we get an average of 160 unique views a day, with just tweets and facebook post. We don’t advertise in any other ways, at least not yet. Even before I had used it to get people to read my stories on devianArt, which would easily get me 10-20 views per tweet. Which, due to responses, has help grow my fanbase. And those fans respond to me and send me messages on twitter all the time. So here’s a secret to my small success: twitter is worthless without followers.

How to make Twitter work for you.

I see it all the time, a new author with 80 followers. I just invited two authors into my triberr tribe only to realize they barely have any followers. Which is okay, because it didn’t cost me anything to get them in my tribe and most importantly, they are probably going to read this post.

An author with less than a couple of thousand followers isn’t helpful. I hear this all the time though, “Yeah but my followers are loyal, strong followers.” First of all, I doubt it. Second of all, if you have only 80 followers and expect to be one of the big dogs, it doesn’t look impressive. Even though, and here’s a big assumption, you post a lot, having few followers makes it look like no one wants to follow you. It may take a while before you get out beyond 200 without some help. So that’s why you are reading this post. To get more followers, so that you can advertise tweets to more people. We need more followers, and not just any followers, but followers who read what we tweet. So of those 80 how many are fiends and family? So this is how you get followers, it’s a known practice that many people use including corporate businesses, because it works.

Follow people like your mouse button has a mind of it’s own.

Tweepi is an easy software that will help you on your way. You can search for a user, and follow all the people that follow them. For example, pull me up and follow everyone who follows me. Follow at least 200 people and see how many follow you back. It’s amazing. Then in a week unfollow those that didn’t, rinse repeat.

“But L. that’s not fair, you didn’t get those followers fairly.” Fairly? Since when was advertising fair for anyone. We have authors who throw money at their book to sale copies, we have authors who make fake reviews, and we also have authors who buy thousands of copies of their book just to get on the best seller’s list. What’s wrong with following a couple people you don’t know? I see it as being polite.

I went to college, not for a literary degree – I wish I did  – and I ended up at Texas A&M for a year before going broke from it. There they have like hundreds of traditions, many of them are fun and interesting. But the most important tradition, which I think was great rule to follow, was saying “Howdy” to everyone you saw. It was fun and friendly and many times a conversation would spark up. And you made a friend.

Twitter is the same way. The millions of people on twitter don’t know you exist, but something as small as a “follow” can bring a new friend into your mix of tools. Meet @M_rinny a devoted fan of mine I met on Twitter. She re-tweets my tweets to her followers, she replies to many tweets, she talks about my stories; she’s one person that has by far been a huge impact on me getting noticed. Here’s another @mendystar1. She’s a deviantArt watcher that actually helped me get on twitter. She’s the reason I’m even on it to begin with and have gotten this far in my writing career.

Follow as many people as you can. It’s like saying “Howdy” to people who can help you.

-L. Vera

P.S.: My twitter account is @LVeraWrites and I have over 8000 followers and growing. Also, this was also just a introduction to Twitter, expect more articles in the future on how to use twitter “The Right Way”.