Patient Zero

I went looking for a good zombie collection on my Kindle and look what I found.

ZERO

Edited by TW Brown

FORWARD

How did it all begin for you? What was the instant you became a die-hard zombophile? For me, it was my fourteenth birthday when a neighbor took me to see Dawn of the Dead. The funny thing is, I was actually there to see the other film playing in the double-feature (remember those days?).

So … think back to the past dozen or so zombie books you’ve read.

How many really delve into how it all begins? It has to start somewhere … right? In these pages, you will find out how it all began.

Seven writers have given you a look at that first person to fall: Patient Zero. This anthology opens the door to the genesis of the zombie apocalypse in detail. Could it really be something as simple a s a paper cut? The answer awaits you.

The Morning Show Host by Patrick Shand

Minnie Brown was the catalyst, the one that brought about the beginning of the end for mankind. And to think it all started with a paper cut.

Minnie tells her story in the form of a written apology to be read by a survivor, if there is one. It doesn’t look too good out there.

A simple paper cut lands her in the hospital.

“I died forty times from a paper cut?” I said. “Wow, I’m a bit of a pussy.”

She is witty and likes to tell jokes, especially dirty jokes, you know, ones about body parts.

“… Hey, you want to take any bets on how many times I croak?”

She thought of herself as “Just some crazy lady who told dumb jokes on the radio at the asscrack of dawn.”

The Zombie Curse by Bennie L. Newsome

This story takes place over 96 hrs, the amount of time Justin is given to save himself.

Justin Burrows, ladies man, cheat. He slinks home in the wee hours of the morning and is caught by wifie when he tries to sneak in. When she doesn’t buy his explanations, he figures if all else fails turn the tables on her. He lied so well that he actually convinced himself that he had been wronged.

His restless night on the couch was filled with vivid dreams of his sexual escapades with his one night stand. In the middle of their activities, Justin opens his eyes and sees the woman is no woman. Her face has morphed into an evil visage of a demon, an ugly one. He should have run away screaming but, “Justin always thought with his smaller head, and he did not see why he should stop at that point. The man closed his eyes and enjoyed the ride.”

Now we know how it started. A romp in the sack with a demon. It was spread by a little love bite he gave the wife while having make-up sex.

Justin isn’t feeling too well at work, a severe migraine sends him home. Figuring a quick shower might help, he jumps in and lathers up. A loud smack makes him look down.

“The startled man looked between his legs, nothing there. Blood was not even present. His stuff had just … fallen off. somehow. He returned his gaze back to the bottom of the tub. There it was, the whole set, both the faucet and the two knobs.”

Boy, a lot of women would consider that poetic justice. I couldn’t stop laughing and read this whole story out loud to my mother and sister. We laughed our asses off.

Fatal Attraction with the ultimate twist. Maybe he should have just went home.

Termination Papers by Suzanne Robb

“The goal of Project Re-Genesis was to alter the internal structures of the human body so when an injury occurred, the body would be able to heal itself within mere seconds. Jerrod knew they meant well, but he didn’t think they had the interest’s of the soldiers at heart. First, they planned to inoculate the soldiers without telling them. Secondly, the kind of alterations happening would be painful and most likely result in the death of some. What they were asking his company to do would be an alteration of human DNA.”

What? The government isn’t concerned about our welfare? Big shocker there.

Months into the experiment, Spencer still has no results. It is do or die time, literally. He makes a mistake and one of his test subjects takes a bite out of him. Now he is on the other side of the safety glass, while others observe him and takes notes. Life is funny that way.

The Scientific Method by Nathaniel W. Phillips

A mere clerk for The Post, more of a fact finder than anything. Why send him to Russia?

“It seemed like a pretty simple assignment, and in fact, it was, but the repercussions of it all … good Lord, saying that it was merely out of my league would trivialize the whole situation.”

The assignment was to gather documents about one Dr. Fenstermacher, a former Nazi SS officer. The scuttlebutt was that, while not as notorious as Dr. Josef Mengele, he also committed experiments of a most atrocious nature.

What our clerk discovers is Fenstermacher’s journal, containing descriptions of an unknown contagion. Inside the pages, he reads about unimaginable horrors performed on young boys and their ramifications.

Welcome to Nazi Germany 1944.

William by A. A. Garrison

A man, a woman, a child and a robotic babysitter.

A jingle from the commercial:

“Do the right thing for your loved one. Get a Swammy Sitter today.”

They seemed too good to be true. You could teach them to do damn near anything. Mow the lawn? Yep. Pressure wash the house? Sure, and you don’t have to worry, they don’t rust.

What you have forgotten is the golden rule. Never believe what you see on television and, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Escarg-O by Chantal Boudreau

Business is booming at The Crystal Fountain Bistro. Mars Grimm, a music icon and new patron, has made the restaurant very popular. To keep him coming back, Steve and Ray, cooks at the bistro, have to come up with new and unusual dishes.

You see, Mars will not eat the same thing twice. Except for snails. That’s what drew him to the bistro in the first place.

Desperate to hang on to their jobs, Steve and Ray use the black market. Steve finds the ultimate snails – Novisuccinea Ovalis. They are unusual, with eye stalks that rippled and vibrated, glowing a flourescent green. Truly revolting looking.

“Well, I was thinking of serving them raw.”

“Raw?! Are you crazy?!”

“Well, they serve sushi raw, don’t they? Ane we have to keep them alive to maintain the special effects. That’s the whole point, isn’t it – a weird novelty food? Mars will love them!”

Eating them raw probably would have been okay if Steve and his friend hadn’t given the snails a concoction of drugs to keep them from crawling off the music stars plate.

If I didn’t like escargo before, I definitely won’t be eating any now.

Quietus by Christopher Beck

One thing you could say about Reed is he is punctual. Every morning, at the same time, he arrives at the small pond to feed goldfish crackers to a pair of ducks. Also waiting for him is a starling, perched in a tree. The bird knows Reed’s feeding schedule and is waiting when he arrives.

Knowing Reed is a food source, the starling follows him to the lab and finds an open window. People mean food so it flies inside. Ever the opportunist, it samples what is left in a petri dish. Reed enters the lab and spots the starling but is too late to stop its escape.

Now the bird has a new appetite. All it takes is a peck on a tiny hand to spread the contagion.

These teaser reviews should have you drooling to read more. I will provide the napkins.

For more go to: www.meydecemberpublications.com